Saturday, August 28, 2010

Rehearsal

It literally means rehearsal, dance rehearsal. The bridal party and groomsmen went to a place called DanceAlive Studio in Chippendale, where the bestman, who's been taking lessons, choreographed a dance for the groomsmen and a salsa dance for everyone. Frankly, I'm okay with it and I think I'm picking it up well. Sadly, the bride and groom decided to not use it.

So with a $25/hr session going to waste, it was pretty stupid just reorganizing and planning it over and over again. This includes changing songs, reordering the entrance, re-choreographing the dance etc etc. We settled on something not as impressive, but it'll do. And now I need to come up with a 5 second allow-me-to-introduce-myself dance.

Aside from this, I was doing the filming. There were only two cameras, and they were both situated at the back corner of the studio. My idea was to make it like So You Think You Can Dance, featuring several confessions. But due to the time constraint, there were no confessions and nothing I planned for the filming of the dance happened.

At least I got some moves to use, haha.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Recovery

Well it appears that I'm back on the game and I may have got the attention of a student nurse. Let's go back to the beginning ...

It all started yesterday ago during one of my regular visits to my Mother at the hospital. I was seeing nurses with white top, which easily implies that they were students. In my Mother's room was a senior nurse with an Asian student nurse. She was kind of cute. We looked at each other and exchanged smiles. However, time after after, she would appear in my Mother's room (shared with 3 others) and we would again share smiles.

Today we had a short conversation about her studies and what music she likes. There were more smiles. Oh, did I mention that I played a few numbers on the piano in the lunch room. Anyway, she told me that she was learning piano and that her Korean teacher stopped teaching her, I think she wanted me to teach her. And, what other reason does she have for abandoning her responsibility as a nurse to come in to my Mother's room to have another conversation with me even though a male classmate is also free and was wandering around the ward? And I mean, she had a "skippy" entrance plus a smile.

Sadly, I have no attraction, it is possible that my fabled "flirting-all-the-time" personality kicked in and that's what's been happening. Is it possible that I'm sending the wrong messages again? Either way, I like that it was working

Point of this post? I still got it.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Reflection

Remember reading about Old Jack and his loser ways?
Well, let's talk about Kid Jack as I will call him.


Back in the year 2003, Kid Jack was very quiet in class and amongst his peers. Sure enough, there were some annoying aspects like his inappropriate swearing and uncalled for name-calling, but he was just a kid. At school, he barely spoke to the girls, I have yet to understand why he was so shy (not like he was pursuing any of them anyway). His weight didn't decrease and his health wasn't all that great.

But the next part is the defining moment in the first transformation of Jack.

There was a special girl at that time that made him feel awesome, both inside and out (oh yeah, she did). That was the one and only time he was sure that someone actually liked him, and that is, more than just a friend. She would call him every night, every week for the next two years and they would talk till she falls asleep or sun rises. During those two years, his morale was fairly good amongst his friends. The girls would all talk to him on MSN (and on conference calls) and the guys would call him out for gaming or whatever. He'd actually chat up girls and make more and more friends.

Now this is where the big change happened.

Because he chatted girls up, he ended up with this one girl who, coincidentally, was on bad terms with the girl that calls him.

Now ...
The new girl made Kid Jack believe that there was something special between the two and in short, he pursued her. Phone Girl and Kid Jack started to fall apart. But when Playeress left Kid Jack, for no reason, apparently, he was devastated, but Phone Girl was there for him and just like that, his original feelings for her resurfaced and he told her about it at the end of that year (2004). That's when Phone Girl finally admitted her feelings but denied him of the potential great relationship, because he took too long and didn't seem loyal enough (since he was with another girl while still chatting with Phone Girl every night). Just like that, she ended up with this jerk who gave her her first 'smoke'. Kid Jack was once again devastated and as a result became withdrawn, losing confidence and social interactions, and even creating enemies because of his negative outlook on life and lack of care for his own sake.


This explains why I've never been able to ask my friend out. Because of the fear of going through those painful feelings again, I have denied myself and her the truth. Sad part is, when another girl comes along one day, I'll still be thinking, "What if?" But hey, if we were meant to be, then no girl in the world can change it, or I stay single for tr a girl will change it, or I stay single for the rest of my life.


Now the million dollar question on your mind is:
Where the flying cake is this guy's balls?


NOTE: Phone Girl grew up to be a a beautiful girl in a great relationship. She doesn't smoke, and she is leading a very happy life (as far as I know).

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Relapse

My first day out as newborn wasn't as great as I imagined it.

Yesterday was my friend's surprise birthday and much like most of us, it involved karaoke, dinner, dessert, but this time with an extra Korean lounge. In my head, I thought I would go nuts at karaoke, that is getting up and shouting my lungs out. I thought I would do a version of California Gurls dedicated to All These Asian Gurls. I thought I would do a whole lot more chatting. I thought I would be a chatter bug at dinner and dessert. I thought I would do my magic trick on the table.

I done it once already, why couldn't I do it again? I do believe that Old Jack was trying to resurface last night. But no way, man. I've imprisoned him, I will kill him, he will die and those friends that love him would have their eyes open to see who I am going to be.

My only reassurance of my change was a dude telling the others, "This guy is crazy now. He's good".

Recount

I think I'll take the time to tell you about the kind of person I am now trying to avoid returning to ...

Old Jack used to be the type of person who would give, no matter how uncomfortable it is for him, going as far as to stay up very late at night just to keep someone company or even traveling over an hour just for a regular visit. He would never truly want anything back despite jokingly saying so and would never fight for anything. When his mates like a girl he likes, he would step aside and watch their happiness unfold along with his lament. For the girl he likes, he would try to be the sweetest person he could whilst avoiding looking obvious to her, doing only subtle things for her.

Old Jack would then spend his alone time in his room with arms wrapped around his knees, curled up and just regret everything he did or didn't do, say or didn't say. He would make like he is happy by telling lies or exaggerating any happy stories so that other guys would be envious (or so he believed), the girls would see only a fake smile, and all his friends would not worry about him.

Old Jack had a strange habit of imagining the worst possible reaction to a scenario. This has gone to the extremes of suicide (only once, and please note that this does not need concern). He would then channel it into various forms such as music, story shorts, and videos. However, none of them were actually any good. He would continue to break down and no one would ever be fully, and I mean really fully, aware of it. He would bring it down many levels and tell it to the girl who, seems to him, is willing to listen and not be judgmental (except for that one time).

Old Jack is pathetic, a loser, stupid, self-hating, low self-esteem, lacked confident, depressed, a coward, a liar, ungrateful, and a big, fat phony.

-sigh- But damn was it fun to make fun of him. It could be a nice story to tell: "The Transformation of Jack".